Just For Gags! :DDDDDD

Ah Beng Jokes
*****************

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his phone book & said:
'My mobile number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'.
====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, cause my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
==========================================

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'God'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the park today, everybody said "Oh God! You have come again."
===========================================

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
=========================================

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying: 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole: 'Thanks for complement.'
=============================================

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
===============================================

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
==================================================

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man : This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng : If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'you will go to jail'
=====================================================

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
=====================================================

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied : Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM.


Kids are KIDS!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said: 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'